There was a time when lazy creatively bankrupt greedy market-savvy game developers seemed determined to make every possible management position into a “Tycoon” game. In addition to the ubiquitous Roller Coast Tycoons, we’ve seen zoos, railroads, and generic corporations get the Tycoon treatment. Which got us thinking … why not bring the pleasure of building snack shacks and agonizing over restroom placement to a few more professions?

Sweatshop Tycoon – The key is picking the right third-world country for your first factory. Watch out for those pesky ideological protestors! And don’t forget your bribes!

Sweatshop

Big Box Store Tycoon – If you don’t put the DVD section near the cameras, then angry customers keep getting stuck in appliances. Oh no! You’ve been attacked by an improv flash mob!

People at Wallmart

Drug Cartel Tycoon – Come to think of it, this describes pretty much every Grand Theft Auto game. But a true “Tycoon” version would have less driving and murdering and more attention paid to upgrading your smuggling planes.

Carlos Escobar

Art Gallery Tycoon – Build up your empire from a small, exclusive gallery in New York to an even more exclusive gallery in New York. But don’t let your avant-garde rating slip or you might become the target of light mockery in the New Yorker. If you really suck, they label you “accessible.”

Art Snobs

Cracker Factory Tycoon – A deep dive into the tense decision-making required to get to the top of the cracker-making heap. Do you jump on the chipotle bandwagon? What if flour prices rise? And don’t forget that your younger brother still resents that dad handed the business to you. While you agonize over expanding into cookies, he’s secretly plotting your death.

Bakery Factory Line

What are some Tycoons you like to see or think would be hilarious?

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